aha! my friday reflection...on friday!

I started out a few weeks ago with the best of intentions.  To blog at least once a week, and reflect on my week every Friday.  
Well, that intention got blown to the moon by life.  I have posted just a tiny bit of what I have been dealing with for the past 2 or 3 weeks.  I've shared a bit of what my last few weeks have been like.  Suffice it to say that it has been pretty stressful.

But that is fodder for another blog.  This is my day to reflect. The prompt I chose for this week was this one:

Reflect on the following quote: "You are never too old to set a new goal or to dream a new dream" - CS Lewis

As soon as I saw this one, I knew it was the one.  THE ONE.  The quote that just jumped out at me and knocked my socks off.  At an age when most people are looking at retirement and planning what they are going to be doing with all that spare time, I was going back to school to learn to be a wound, ostomy and continence nurse.  I don't look at things I want to learn or do as limited by my age.  The only limits I have are the ones I put on myself, and I choose not to limit myself.  Every day that I wake up is a chance to learn something new, to dream a new dream.  Dreams are what give my thoughts flight, and make all things possible.  I also believe that the day I stop dreaming and planning new goals, is the day I start to grow old.  Dreams keep me young.  By young, I don't mean looks, because that is just the wrapping, not who I really am.  When I say young, I mean that my thoughts, my outlook on life, the way I approach life is ageless.  It has nothing to do with the number of years I have lived on earth  I plan to be young the rest of my life.  Goals give me something to look forward to, to strive for.  It isn't about reaching the goal that matters to me, it is the journey getting there that matters.  That is where the learning, the lesson, occurs.


And because this is May 1, and the first day of NaBloPoMo for this month, I decided I would add the prompt for it here too.  Kind of confusing to some people, but to someone who multitasks as much as I do, it made good sense to me.  The May Theme for NaBloPoMo (which I have failed at plenty of times, and decided to take a stab at again) is:

PHOTO

The prompt for today's photo is: YOU. Meaning me...so here I am:

  

me

Your computer is not playing tricks on you.  I am out of focus for a reason.  I chose to edit this photo this way, because lately it is the way I feel.  Off center, out of kilter, not quite balanced. Life is just like that sometimes, you know?  My mantra has always been:

This, too, shall pass.

And with time, it will.  It always does, because life isn't static.

...laugh, when you can't do anything else. ~cath 
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

my saturday friday reflection: 5 things i am grateful for

This week, as I read the post written by Janine on her blog reflections from a redhead, I found myself nodding in agreement (again) with the wisdom she shares, and has learned at such a young age.  I looked at the prompts and the following prompt jumped out at me:

life is the dancer, you are the dance. eckhart tolle

Write about 5 things you are grateful for this week.

It immediately hit my mind.  The reason I have been smiling all week, and feeling so relaxed and unstressed, is gratitude.  Lately I had been thinking a lot, about my life for the past several months, about how I approached problems, about how I had lost my ability to pick through the detritus surrounding a situation and discover the truth in it.  I was bogged down, losing interest in many of my favorite things in life, crying a lot, and my hair was falling out again.  At one point I began to wonder if I was depressed.

Then I rediscovered a favorite book of mine.  I've read it at least 4 times since 2006 or 2007, so I added it over to my audio books list and began to listen to it (I have it in print, digital and audio form).  And what I heard amazed me.  The answer to my question was right in front of my face.  EGO.  I had become entrenched in my own ego, and was thinking and feeling from that standpoint.  I was responding to situations and people from the ego inside, and viewing things in a distorted way.  

As soon as I began to see that, stop over thinking and just be present in the moment, I found a change taking place. I began to relax.  I could feel my shoulders, which are almost always tight and hurting, begin to let go of the tension knotted in them. My hair stopped falling out. My face looked less tired. Most of all, the anger I had begun to feel, and the building resentment inside me, just went away. Just went away. By letting go of the need to feed my ego, and fully experiencing each moment as it happened, I began to experience a shift, and began to find happiness again.

When a friend told me at lunch this week that I looked happy, the realization hit that what we carry inside us shows through us to others. Things I thought I had hidden well, I discovered weren't so hidden after all. And so, the first thing I am grateful for this week was rediscovering the book that changed my life so dramatically several years ago:
My first gratitude: A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose by Eckhart Tolle. The title says it all.  

As I reflect on my life, and this past week, my thoughts go to my family.  The love I feel for them. The gratitude I have for each and every one of them.  And I am not talking just about my kids, grandkids, sisters, mother, husband, etc.  I include in laws, cousins, aunts, uncles and ALL my family. We are all connected by blood, or love, or both. But most of all, we are all connected by our human nature. It is the common tie that we share with all of humanity. I am grateful that for many of us, we have rediscovered connections that had gone dormant due to distance and years, and can maintain contact more frequently now, through social media. Being able to keep in touch has brought me joy, laughter, and reignited good memories.
My second gratitude: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and other social media. It is the tie that helps bind my extended family together.

A friend and I were discussing the fact that some people seem to flounder in life, and others find purpose and achieve goals in life. It is my belief that human beings are happier when they are productive. We do better when we set goals for ourselves, and keep a positive attitude about reaching them. I believe that people with no purpose in life languish, and miss a lot of joy. I've seen it too often. People who wake up every day with nothing to do but eat, sleep, and pass the hours sitting and doing nothing end up with a bleakness of spirit and body that often manifests in physical or mental illness, or both. 
My third gratitude: my job. I am not my job, and my job is not who I am, but it gives me purpose in life, and lets me help others.

I've been reflecting on friendships.  Friends are different from family. You are not bound by blood, you are bound by love, and a commonality of interests or personality that lets you connect.  If you are lucky to have wonderful friends, as I am, you learn from each other. You experience new feelings, ideas, and the friendship helps you grow in new directions. Not all friendships I have had have been positive experiences, but I have learned from them, and it has ultimately helped me understand myself, through their eyes.
My fourth gratitude: friends.  Positive or negative, they teach me more about myself.

My final gratitude may sound a bit strange, but as I tried to put my thoughts into words, I realized I could refine and narrow that thought down to two things. My hands and my eyes. Because of my hands and eyes, and their connection with my brain, I can put what I think or see onto paper with a pen, pencil or brush. I can look through a camera lens and see a story, and share that story. I have seen several stories in the news this week about people with amputations, and how they have overcome the challenge and met goals they set for themselves (refer here back to gratitude #3). It has made me keenly aware of my own blessings and good health, and also more grateful than ever that I am blessed with hands and eyes that can share what I see and think through my art, photography and writing. And so my last gratitude this week:
My fifth gratitude: my hands and eyes, that give me the ability to share my thoughts and feelings through my art.

Stop and reflect on your week. What are you most grateful for?
I want to thank Janine Ripper at reflections from a redhead and Mackenzie Granville at reflections from me for sponsoring this weekly blog prompt. I encourage you to visit their blogs, and read, comment, or join in the weekly reflections.



...laughter and life are good. ~cathy 
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

in the midst of chaos...comes spring

Mankind is a violent, cruel species.  Evolved from whatever your beliefs are based in, we have a tendency to destroy our own, with no thought to the value, or the uniqueness and individuality that we each possess.  The events yesterday in Boston during the Boston Marathon served to reinforce this for me.  And I paused to think about the past several weeks...

I have had time to reflect on many things since mid-February, through surgeries (one my own), illnesses, allergies from hell, the day to day crises that have been my life.  My mood has been sinking lower and lower.  I stopped taking photos, stopped painting, and stopped writing.

Then...spring arrived.  A little bit at a time, it arrived.  One leaf at a time, one rainstorm after another, days that warmed slowly.  It crept up until suddenly, a day came and my eyes noticed that winter had finally left.  The seasons pass as surely as time in an hourglass...there is no stopping it.  Which is as it should be.

I find suddenly the urge to strike out on my own again...with camera, pen and ink, paints and canvas, and words.

So, here I am.  And here is my spring...

...life is good. ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter