joy, from the mouth of a child

Duncan was unusually quiet around us this weekend.  That means he didn't talk much to Gramps and me.  Until we were headed home with him.  I don't understand how his child's mind works and am surprised at what it produces.  Yesterday it was this:

Dunc: Dogs are the best animals to use in the Army.  They can protect people and find stuff.

Me: You mean sniff out stuff like bombs?

Dunc: Yeah.  Cats aren't any good though.

Me: Why not?

Dunc: They are just pussycats.  Pussycats aren't any good in the army, cause they won't listen or do anything except sit on landmines and blow soldiers up.

Me: (Silence.  What do you say to that?)

...life is good. ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

epic fail, with joy

Last August I decided I needed to go back to school.  More specifically, I decided to take a class in wound/ostomy/continence care, to pursue certification as a WOC nurse.  The program I chose was a graduate level class with a year of knowledge crammed into a semester.  Online.

I almost hyperventilated as I sank more money than I could imagine on something I would only experience through the computer.  I am comfortable with a computer.  That wasn't the issue.  It was that I spent the better part of 9 years without much time off, and working 2 jobs (or more) while attending classes.  I survived, swearing I would never go back to school.  EVER.

Then I did this.  I struggled with a new set of rules and regs, screwed up a few times, had a hard time focusing to study (recommendation was 2 hours a day...I think I might have studied 2 hours a week). I felt like any minute I would fail.

But I didn't.  I made it through lectures.  Made it through proctored finals (3 times) when some kid would ask me for my ID, and search my room (using MY webcam) for any lurking cheat sheets or dust bunnies that looked suspiciously like cheat sheets.  The first time I went through the process, I felt violated.  By the third time. I was ready to take the test naked if I could just GET FINISHED.

I also foolishly signed on to the NaBloPoMo December daily blogging challenge TWO DAYS BEFORE MY FINAL FINAL.  The thing I neglected to think through was that if I didn't pass that last test, the whole semester was shot.  That's right.  It was all or nothing.  So I wrote and posted on my blog those first two days.  By the 3rd day, the day of my final, I had been without sleep for long enough that I was delusional and thought I didn't have to study much.  Translate that to mean that I procrastinated... painting my nails, coloring my hair, and waxing parts of my body I had no business waxing, until 2 hours before the test, when panic finally set in and I studied.

And passed.  And crashed after it all.  For days afterward I was a zombie, until I woke up one day and realized several things.

1. I was finished with class.  I HAD PASSED.
2. I was going to miss being able to fart out loud and drink a glass of wine while taking a live class.  
3. I had failed at the NaBloPoMo daily blogging challenge.  (Again.)
4. I still had clinical practicum to complete before the class was truly, really completed.

Clinicals in January and February.  Jacksonville, here I come.  Brace yourself.

EPIC FAIL, with joy.  The best is yet to come.

...life is good. find your joy.  ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

joy, revisited

As the day drew to a frustrating end I headed out of town toward home, then realized I needed to return to the office and leave something I had forgotten to take out of my portfolio.  My stress level rising as I thought about the FINAL final I would be taking online tomorrow, I was grinding my teeth in aggravation.  Already late to my study time, I was beginning to fume.  I looped back through town, taking short cuts on side streets to save time.  I topped a small hill and suddenly looked up, jamming my brakes down, coming to a halt in the middle of the street.  I suddenly remembered the prompt for the NaBloPoMo blogging challenge this month: JOY.

As I gazed up, I saw the beauty of the setting sun reflected on the billowing clouds, and felt my jaws and shoulders relax.  That perfect moment of joy, when you see a sky you know will never be exactly that perfect again.  The joy of being alive and present in the moment.

Joy.  Pure, simple.  And I will share my moment.  Through my photos.

  

...life is good. find your joy.  ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

joy

Here I am, after not writing much for most of this year.  Not that I haven't had thoughts.  I've just had a busy year.  A new position at work last January (not so new now) and things happening along the way that just made me feel at times like a voyeur gawking at my own life.  But here I am, December. Almost the final hour of the year, and I decide to make a last hurrah.  Which means I probably won't have much to say this month, and will blather on about something or other to try to meet the BlogHer NaBloPoMo goal of posting every day.  (AM I CRAZY? I shout at myself inside my head....probably. I reply).

We will see.  But I am going to share a moment of my joy with you tonight.  Sunset from my front yard as I arrived home.  (Well, I was trespassing to get this shot, across the road in the neighbor's yard.  Luckily, the only dogs they have don't eat humans, just lick them to death.)

Somehow, sunsets just always quiet the turmoil in me.  Like this one tonight:

...life is good. find your joy.  ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter