Wednesday, August 29, 2012

the best medicine

steve martian
Laughter is always the best medicine, and in my family, we have an abundance of it from a variety of sources.  Here are some things I have heard or been told by family members lately:

Mum: You've lost weight.
Me: No mum not really.
Mum: Well, your ankles look thinner.

Jen: Maddie you have to stop talking in class.  The teacher sent home a note today.
Maddie: (tears running down her face for dramatic effect, and holding up three fingers for emphasis) But Mommy!  It's only the THIRD day of SECOND grade!!!

Jack has been held back in first grade this year.  He says he is doing better and that he's making new friends.  I play devil's advocate and ask him what he is going to do if he is still in first grade when he is thirteen.
Jack:  Well if I am in the first grade when I am thirteen, then I can go straight to high school!

Steve had been working outside and was a hot mess.  He went inside to see John, who immediately ran to him to be picked up and hugged.  He leaned over, sniffed Steve's shirt, leaned back, made a face and said "BATH!!" is good. ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

you can fix anything with duck tape

I am OCD about some things.  For me to admit that is a big confession.  But the reason I am OCD about some things is because if I wasn't, I'd be doomed.  I was reminded of this not long ago.

Driving to work one morning recently, I was a bit distracted.  I had several things on my mind, and was trying to make a mental list of all the things I needed to do.  I had pretty well worked the list out in my head, and decided to run by the pharmacy on my way to work.  Actually, it was two pharmacies.  Stevie Wonder and I use different pharmacies, for the same reason we use different banks.  But that is another story.

While I was picking up my prescription, I decided to pick up some makeup I needed, rather than try to make another trip to buy makeup.  That was my first mistake.  When I start looking at makeup, or anything that causes me to use the unorganized side of my brain, it means there is a conflict.  In my brain.  Because you can't daydream and organize at the same time.  Not with my brain anyway.

My mind started to drift as I looked at the new products.  I grabbed my standard mascara, and picked up some nifty eyebrow pencils, and then I saw the lipsticks, and started trying to decide what color to get.

That was the beginning of the end.  I was on limited time, so I was feeling the pressure to make a decision.  I was trying to add up what the cost of all this beauty paraphernalia was going to cost me, and then head back to pick up the prescription.  My attention span was starting to drift.  I got my prescription, headed to the car, and then across the street to Stevie's pharmacy to get his prescriptions.  I drove through the drive through at that pharmacy, then headed to work, still making good time.

I got to work, dropped my keys in my purse (my second mistake), cracked my window just a little to keep the heat from building up, then got out of the car to go around and pick up my purse and bag of makeup goodies and carry them in.  I pushed the lock down and slammed the door shut.

Have you ever done something, made a mistake, and felt like you were standing back and watching someone else do some dumb ass thing in slow motion? 

That is how I felt as I watched the door swing shut.  Just as the door went "click", I realized that I had locked everything in the car.  I had changed my routine and made that last dumb  move and shut the door, without making sure I had my keys in my hand.

Now I had a problem.  Stevie Wonder was out of pocket, so I couldn't call him for help.  I walked into my office, and started trying to arrange to get someone to break into my car.  Then my mum surfaced in me.  She raised me to be independent, and that attitude, along with being married since the Stone Age to Stevie Wonder the Tool Wizard, made me decide I could deal with this myself.

I thought about how to approach this.  This was the planning stage.  Like making a blueprint in my head.  Once I figured that out I assembled my tools:
1. a flexible steel yardstick
2. a paper clip
3. duct tape

Now if you live in the south, you know most of us call it duck tape.  That is just the way we roll.  This tape is so versatile that it should be a staple in all emergency kits and households.  I assembled my tools and taped a paper clip to the end with several pieces of duct tape.  I proceeded to the car, slid the yardstick down inside the window and flipped the lock open on the third try.

Three things saved me that day:
1. duct tape
2. determination
3. leaving my window cracked that crucial inch

I never crack my window, but I did that day.  For the same reason I dropped my keys in my purse.  I was thinking with the left side of my brain.

Sometimes being unorganized works out for the better. is good. ~cath   
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

Saturday, August 25, 2012

beer chips and lightening rods

I knew better.  Stevie Wonder knew better.  Wretch knew better. But we did it anyway.

Shopped while we were hungry.  I realized as I was looking at snacks and my mouth started watering at the fruit gummies (that I don't even like).  I think Stevie Wonder realized it when he started stopping at all the food sample tables as we made our way to the back of the store.  He wasn't nibbling delicately.  He was snarfing those tidbits as fast as he could get them in his mouth.  Little mini meals that never fill you up but make you buy stuff you normally would turn your nose up at.

I knew Wretch realized it when she sampled those Beer Chips after spotting them going in Stevie's mouth.  I looked at her (I'd already stolen one chip from SW) and begged for her last chip.  She nodded in understanding and gave it to me.  Then went back to get a bag of chips.  I'm not a chip eater.  But I was slobbering like a bull dog before we got to the check out to pay for them.  I think I left a slime trail like a snail behind me as I walked.  But I couldn't take my eyes off the bag.

So here we are, at home with our ginormous bag of Beer Chips.  I've already beaten Stevie Wonder off the bag one time.  And I have it tucked in the chair beside me for later.  The God of Fire is burning meat on the grill he so painstakingly built a few weeks ago.  The one out of bricks that wouldn't quite fit the grill when he got it finished.  The grill he blamed the dogs for leaning against and shifting the bricks before the cement set.  (Of course it was the dogs, SW never makes mistakes.)  The grill that he had to hammer into place.

And it just started thundering.  Which means there is lightening too.  And the God of Fire is holding a lightening rod in his hand outside.  (Also known as a meat fork.)

*sigh* It's going to be one of those days.  I better go drag his butt to safety, before I end up a rich widow with no cook. is oh so good. ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

Friday, August 24, 2012

caesar's flowers

 {this moment} - A Friday ritual.  A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week.  A moment in time I want to capture, to savor and remember.
“This Moment” is a ritual I found on Pamanner's Blog, via Life inspired by the Wee Man adopted from SouleMama.  Check out their blogs, and if you are moved too, please leave a link to your Moment in the comment box below. is good. ~cath 
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

Monday, August 13, 2012

teeth, tootsie pops and plane karma

I have a condition.  Plane karma.  It manifests every time I decide to fly somewhere and buy a ticket.  I have had some doozie things happen to me on flights all over the United States.  (You can read about a couple of them here and here if you are curious.)  Some of it I brought on my own head, and some of it was just being in the wrong place at the wrong time and getting smacked in the head with stupid.

I have had a long streak of what I would call the absence of karma.  Maybe writing about it was the reason, or maybe it was just the fact that I was trying to avoid doing anything stupid.  Either way it has been nice.

Then yesterday I talked to my daughter on the phone because she had broken a tooth on a popcorn hull.  Wait, I thought, this is the daughter who hates popcorn.  Won't touch it.  Well, it turns out she will, if it is covered in marshmallow goo.  She was worried about pain that might arrive ANY SECOND, and I was reassuring her and thinking to myself that would never be me, I have teeth of steel.

Wrong.  I decided to enjoy a Tootsie Pop on the way home from the office yesterday.  I'd gone in to get my paperwork pile (that reproduces like rabbits) under control before I leave on Tuesday.  On a plane.

The only thing left when I bit down was the thin candy coating over the chewy Tootsie center.  Do any of you remember that owl in the Tootsie Pop commercial who asks how many licks does it take to get to the center, right before crunching it on about the third lick?  Well, I was careful and had about worn the taste buds off my tongue before I bit down.  Felt that satisfying crunch and chewy chocolate goodness dance across the remaining taste buds in my mouth.  Perhaps a bit crunchier than normal.  I swallowed and then about a second later I felt a sharp edge on my tooth.  The place where the dentist had put a small filling because the tooth had broken there before.  (Instructing me to avoid eating hard things like popcorn and hard candy while he was filling it.)

I had just swallowed my filling.

I dialed Wretch back and told her what happened in between a long string of expletives.

We laughed through broken teeth.

I have to get this tooth fixed before I fly because I can't keep my tongue from finding it, and this is what my mouth looks like when I do:

Plane karma returns.      

...and life is good. ~cath
  find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

Sunday, August 12, 2012

my other anniversary

The day just crept up this year before I realized it. Three years ago I wrote a post about my great niece and her fascination with my purse and posted it for my family. Two years and over 352 posts later, I am still posting for my family. That family has grown to include those of you kind enough to stop by and read a bit about the foibles of a middle aged grammy. (Ok so middle age is now 60. I think it's reasonable to plan to live to 120, don't you?)

I appreciate all the kind words and interest you have shown to me. I have met some marvelous people because of this little blog, and for that I am truly blessed. If you have laughed, that is always good medicine. If you've read and learned something, that's a plus too. If you enjoyed my photos and haiku, then I met my goal as an artist.  And if it's a way to kill a little bit of time with your morning coffee, then it's all good.

Thanks for the comments you have taken time to write.  Anyone who writes words for others to read enjoys knowing they aren't sending them into the vacuum of cyberspace.  I don't expect comments, but enjoy reading your thoughts.

I decided to slow down my posts a bit the past few months.  My personal life has become busier, and life seems to be flying by at the speed of light lately.  I plan to continue to post twice a week.  If I post more than that, it is because I have an extra moment or two, or something insanely funny has happened that I can humiliate my family telling about.

I am sharing some of my favorites from the past two years with you today.  I don't expect you to read them all, but I have enjoyed compiling the links and reliving some of the past three years of blogging about my thoughts.

My first post:
kayla's lipstick adventure

How I see my world:
the perfect sunset and morning dew and caught between worlds and clouds got in my way

I was blogging before I knew about blogs:
plane karma version 2.1

Why I collect earrings:
maddie's earrings

My sisters:
sisters and sister wine

Why he is Stevie Wonder to me:
deep earth and the softness of a man

My kids:
      Wretch: trolls 
     Jenny Wren: about my daughter on her day of days
     Sneezer: the son becomes the father

My soap box:
the flip side and when the medication is right

for mary on mother's day

Why August makes me sad:

The lights of my life:
shot down in one sentence and jack and the magic toadstool and just john and the world in his face

I realized as I compiled this list that I have met the goal I set for myself two years ago. The reason I first began to blog.  It wasn't to become a writer, or be published, or to make money.  I have piddled around with some of the social networking but never totally dedicated myself as so many of you gifted writers and fine bloggers out there have done, because my intent was different.

I have often wondered what my Grammy and Grandma thought about things, what made them who they are.  They both spent hours telling me things about the family, and their pasts.  I loved the stories I listened to as I grew up.  And that was what set me on the blogging path.  I wanted to leave behind something tangible my grandchildren would have when I was gone, something they could pass on to their children, and to their grandchildren.  Our history, with a twist.  I hope they will see that every word I have written has been for them.

Because they are the best part of me. is good. ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

papa's got a brand new tide


Be sure to read the details at the end to find out how you can take advantage of a special P&G promotion.  Then click on this link and check out the P&G website! Tide Pods Spring Meadow

When BlogHer and Proctor and Gamble asked me to review a product for a new estore P&G is launching, I was on board all the way.  First, because I love shopping online.  I'd rather shop online because it saves gas (that increasingly precious commodity), and time, which leaves me free to do other things I love.  When I found out I'd be promoting Tide Pods Spring Meadow, I was excited to be included.  This is the first time I have ever promoted anything commercial on my blog, but it's a great way to start.  Here is how I came to discover Tide Pods...

The first time I saw them, I was not impressed, and I wasn't impressed the second time or third time I passed them in the stores we frequented for our shopping.  Stevie Wonder would ask each time, "do you want to try them?"  And I would scoff and say, "of course not, it's just a gimmick."

What am I talking about?  Tide Pods of course.  Spring Meadow scent to be specific.  

Until the day he brought a container of them home after doing some shopping while I was at work.  He was the first one to take the plunge, and being Stevie Wonder, it was a rough start.

When Stevie loaded the washer and then threw one in on top of the clothes, he noticed a few minutes later that it was floating.  That was when I asked the question that always gets me the evil eye.

"Did you read the directions?"

No, of course he hadn't.  Without a word to me, he read the directions, lifted the clothes on one side, and shoved that little pod down under.  He checked several times to see if it was floating again, but it stayed under and never came up again.

I was wondering how well it would clean the clothes.  It was a tiny bit of detergent after all.  Then I noticed that the clothes smelled really clean and fresh.  I've been a Tide girl since way back, and knew my mum loved it.  When Stevie and I married, he told me I couldn't use Tide because he was allergic to it.  Being young and in love, I believed him, so for years we used other detergents.  Then those neat little pods came along and Stevie just couldn't resist them.

We are on our second container of them now.  I love the ease of just being able to throw one in.  No spill, no mess, and most importantly, no measuring.  The directions say to use two for heavily soiled clothing, and that does a spiffy job on those stinky sweaty clothes Stevie Wonder piles in the laundry after working in the garden or doing yardwork.  Tide still does the same marvelous job on our laundry that it did when I was growing up, only in an easier, more convenient way.

Thanks for shoving me forward into the Tide Pod generation, Stevie Wonder.

Now for those special details:
1. If you purchase between now and August 31, 2012, you will save 10% off your order.  Not only that, but you'll get free shipping on orders over $25!
2. There are a lot of great Olympic themed bundles and deals right now on the P&G website.  Proctor & Gamble is a proud sponsor of the US Olympics.
3. In order to get the deals, you must shop by clicking the link at the top of this post, or clicking on the link here Tide Pods Spring Meadow.  Yes I get compensated for it, but you get the savings, and that's the sweet part.
4. Share, share, share!  Share the post, and ask your friends and family to check the website out.  Tell them to click the link, check the post, and enjoy the savings.

What are your favorite P&G products?  How do you feel about shopping on the internet?  Since this is my first blog based promotion, please let me know what you think in the comments below.  The feedback also goes to P&G, so let's hear your thoughts!  And thanks for being the best readers in the blogosphere! :D is really good. ~cath
  find me @jonesbabie on Twitter