Thursday, June 5, 2014

slapping john

John has been sick.  He is the youngest grandson, a 4 year old trying to mix in with the world of his 9 year old cousins.  They don't always have patience with him, and being the youngest, he gets shoved aside sometimes when they are tired of him.

John had a flush on his face yesterday, cheeks so red that his mom took him to the doctor.  The red cheeks were caused by Fifth disease, also known as Slap disease, for the obvious reasons.

Gramps walked into the living room later that day and saw the three oldest sitting quietly on the couch, watching television.  He threw his hands on his hips and said in the booming voice he uses when he means no nonsense:

"John has Slap disease.  I want to know... who's been slapping John?!"

He said all three of their mouths dropped open in shock, like baby birds in a nest, as they loudly started protesting their innocence.

He was doubled over in laughter, telling me about it.

Sometimes, Gramps can be as evil as Grammy is. is good. ~cath
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Wednesday, June 4, 2014

fake eyebrows

Maddie was standing watching me put on my war paint yesterday morning as I got ready for work. I was aware of her intent staring, the way a worm might feel (if it could feel), right before a bird pounces.

Suddenly, she pounced. 

"Grammy, are those fake eyebrows?"

I stopped drawing my fake eyebrows on and laughed loudly. 

"Yes Maddie, they are fake eyebrows."  She seemed content with the answer, but I proceeded to explain to her why I had to fake my eyebrows. She calmly listened, then stretched and looked at her own eyebrows in the bathroom mirror. 

"I don't have much eyebrows either,"

That was when I veered off into a lengthy explanation about genetics. She hung with me for about 5 minutes, then her eyes went blank and I knew I'd lost her. I laughed as she eased out of the bathroom and moved onto something else, her interest in fake eyebrows evaporated. 

This morning she came in to watch me draw my fake eyebrows on again. I sneaked a look at her out of the corner of my eyes. Then Evil Grammy took over and I grabbed her and drew fake eyebrows on her. She liked them, but said in critique "they are red!"

"Yes Maddie, because I have red hair."

Maddie twisted her mouth, smiled, and didn't say anything else. The fake eyebrows stayed on. She left the bathroom and went to eat breakfast. 

And drew the line when I tried to lipstick her mouth on my way out the door. Her reason?

"Grammy, I NEVER wear lipstick when I'm eating. It will just come off."

Life is good.