Wednesday, September 21, 2011

confession: how to prepare for a high school reunion

This weekend Stevie Wonder and I fly home to visit my family.  We also have a small road trip up the California coast planned, with detours through the redwoods and down the Silverado Trail through the Napa wine valley.  I am anticipating lots of fun and laughter with people I love, as well as some great photo opportunities with Big Girl.

Then there is the other reason I am going home.  My high school reunion.  High school reunions, if you aren't familiar with them, are gatherings of people who spent time together when they were pimply, sweating adolescents.  Those were the days when we lived under peer pressure in an academic setting that was supposed to prepare us for life beyond the 12th grade.  Some went on to college, some to work.  Me?  I went on to a marriage that started 2 days after I graduated from high school.  A marriage that has lasted for over 40 years.

I missed the first high school reunion.  There may have been a second reunion I missed too.  I wasn't really sorry, because I don't really like being in crowds of people that I have absolutely nothing in common with any more.  Well, come to think of it, I never had anything in common with most of those people anyway, except the classes we shared.  I did make some close friends in high school.  And have kept track of a couple of them over the years.  But the majority of the 200 or so people I graduated with?  Just a distant, almost demented memory that is more like a delusion now than anything that really happened.

But for some reason, this year I decided to go.  So months ago, I made a list of things I needed to do before I went to this reunion of people I probably won't remember.  I decided a whole makeover was necessary, because I had to look my best.  The list floated in my head over the months, and from time to time I would check my progress.  The reunion begins in two days, and this is the end result of the list:

1. Lose weight.  Failed.  The best I can hope for is a really tight pair of spanx that reaches from my armpits to my knees that can mold me to look like Sophia Lauren.  From the neck down anyway.
2. Increase my exercise routine.  Failed.  I have yet to begin an exercise routine.  The dust on the treadmill is so thick that I can write my name on it.
from ourstory.com
3. New manicure and pedicure.  Failed.  Reason: I've been buried in paperwork for weeks now and time slipped up and oh well, I'll be going with toes that have polish half grown off, and nails that are in their virgin state, untouched by anything.
4. Facial and body massage.  Failed.  I have a coupon given to me by a dear friend for my birthday, that I have yet to use, for reason #3.  I pat the envelope every now and then to remind me it is waiting for me.  I was trying to wait until I accomplished #1 and #2, so the masseuse wouldn't be kneading the Pillsbury Dough Boy when he worked his magic on me.
5. New wardrobe of exciting, cutting edge designs, for my new body.  Failed.  Doubly, because of #1.  So I've had to settle for designer wear from WalMart and the local discount department store on sale.  


As I ticked off my failures in my head, it suddenly dawned on me.  I'd gotten sucked into a morass of superficial triteness. This reunion isn't about me.  It's not about how I look, it's not about how other people see me on the outside, or how they look to me.  It's about sharing a bit of time, with people I most likely will never see again, and comparing how our lives have turned out.  Sharing some laughs, some memories, and reminiscing for a bit with people who shared a spot of time in my life many years ago.  We've all changed physically.  Time assures that.  But what's happened to our dreams and plans?  Did we accomplish what we planned to do those many years ago?  Or did life take us down other paths?

I am prepared.  The wrapping doesn't matter.  I'll have fun anyway, and my sister will be at my side (it's her reunion too), along with Stevie Wonder.  Sharing memories, laughs, catching up on news with others.  And making some new memories.  Trying to remember names will be the piano part.

Margaritas last night with my friend was my cure.  As we sat and talked, I realized what is important.  People, life, sharing food, drink and time with others are what counts.  The connection.  That is what matters.

What happened to my mental list?  I threw it in my mental trash bin.  Where it should have been long ago.  Life is good.  Anxiety is gone.  And I am centered once again.

...is your life where you thought it would be when you were 17?  :D

~cath xo
Twitter @jonesbabie

21 comments:

  1. Wow! You seriously got married a couple of days out of high school? Congrats! You are right in saying that this is a time to reconnect, reminisce and make new memories! I stayed away from high school memories for years until one of my closest high school friends passed. I decided then and there that I can still have these times to share and she will never again. I am grateful I did reconnect because I have been given the gift of some wonderful friends that I didn't know well in high school! Have a wonderful time this weekend!

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  2. I'll be there with you sissy...threw my list out weeks ago, wearing something comfortable that is already broken in, :-D

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  3. Oooo. Take me! Take me! Redwoods and Napa anyway.

    You're bang on about the reunions and what's important - and in your usual hysterical way.

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  4. I only went to one reunion and it was depressing lol



    http://jpweddingphotograpy.blogspot.com/2011/09/collaboration-with-tameka-mullins.html

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  5. I communicate and have gone over memories on a facebook page our high school has. There are yes a select few I would like to see and give a hug, but a reunion, not really for me. I hope you have a wonderful time.

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  6. I never attended mine. I wondered if I missed anything, but.. I'll never know. Sounds scary. Have fun. Looking forward to the follow up post.

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  7. Classic Cathy! I think you describe the feelings most of us have before meeting people we haven't seen for some time. Lucky you, you have managed to delete the irrelevant and focus on the important. I hope you have a wonderful time. Have fun! I'll be waiting to see what Big Girl and yourself come up with.
    I went to my 25th college reunion, I didn't recognise most and the ones I wanted to see weren't there.

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  8. You really pulled it together and will have a blast at the reunion. Your trip is taking me through my old stomping grounds :D I lived in Santa Rosa for quite a while. Did lots of trips up and down the coast. Miss that area. I'm looking forward to a follow-up post - it will be fun reading about the reunion :D

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  9. I know you'll have a great time because you have a fantastic attitude about it all. I have never been to any of mine but if the opportunity arose, maybe I'd give it a try! xox

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  10. @dgili84 Thanks for the input Denise. I am looking forward to this, even though I don't like large crowds. Knowing Steve and Vix will be there with me keeps me calm. And yes I did get married two days after I graduated.

    I am going to enjoy seeing the people I spent years in school with. It will be fun to see what roads they have all taken in life. :D

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  11. @Anonymous Yah me too vix, I am wearing a $12 linen shirt and my 7 year old blue jean capris most likely (that is the plan right now). See you tomorrow sister. xo

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  12. @Thom Brown I can't WAIT to see what Big Girl and I can capture Thom. And Steve is always so patient when I am on a photography jaunt. It will be awesome. :D

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  13. @JIM Then you went to the wrong school JIM. :D

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  14. @Jan Well I missed the first one Jan, and decided I would take my social anxiety in hand and just DO IT this year. And I am glad I am. Thanks for the comment. :D

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  15. @Brenda I wondered the same thing after the first one, this time I won't have to wonder. :D I am sure there will be a follow up to this. With me, something always happens. :D

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  16. @hocam Well, Mary, since I went to school with a couple hundred, and Vix did too, it's gonna be a toss up whether my friends show up or not. Will be interesting to see. :D

    I have Big Girl charged and ready. :D

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  17. @Mari Sterling Wilbur Thanks Mari, I am looking forward to this whole trip. The coast is gorgeous, and the crush is on in the Napa Valley, so the vineyards will be awesome too. The Silverado Trail is one of the most beautiful drives I have ever taken, as is Highway 1 down the coast. We plan to start around Stinson Beach and go up the coast from there. It's exciting and my anticipation is over the top right now. :D

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  18. @Adriene Joyce (a.k.a Sweepy Jean) Thanks Adriene I think it will be fun, and I'll soon find out. :D

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  19. My life is no where NEAR what I imagined when I graduated high school. And I have to say in the long run it turned out better than I imagined. Have a lovely trip. I long to see the redwoods someday. (you know, that thing I have for trees...)

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  20. This is why I have Facebook, I think. To remind me why I never liked half the girls I went to school with and why the thought of be reunited with them is actually quite vomit-inducing. But I'm quite surprised with where I've ended up even though it was only 8 years ago that I was 17.

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  21. @Beckey: this turned out to be a good thing...I was pleasantly surprised. :D

    @Twatsmacker: Give yourself another 30 years and you may find your feelings have mellowed somewhat...mine did. :D

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