Monday, February 13, 2012

mousecapade

Friday was one of those weird days you hope you don't have to experience again for a long time.  It started out strange and ended on a bizarre note that no one would believe, if I didn't have the evidence.

We'd been out getting Stevie Wonder a high octane checkup, had a nice lunch out and of course, the requisite Starbucks (I can't go to Birmingham without getting a Tazo Chai Latte).

At home that evening, SW went to bed early because the stress test had whipped his butt (it was a Thallium stress test, and let me tell you, walking a treadmill is nothing to getting zapped by medication to stress your heart).  That was when it started.  I saw movement from the corner of my eye, and looked at the floor in front of the TV.

There sat a mouse, looking back at me.

I screamed.  Don't ask me why.  I had a pet rat when I was a kid and I wasn't afraid of a mouse.  I think he just startled me.  I heard Steve roaring "WHAT THE HELL'S THE MATTER?" behind his CPap and I hollered back:

"THERE'S A MOUSE IN HERE!  A BIG ONE!"

I heard him grumbling as he got out of bed.  I won't set traps.  That's his job.  I tell him about the mice, he sets the traps, and disposes of the DBs.  (That is Dead Bodies for those of you who don't watch CSI.)

I had reported the mouse.  There was a trap in the kitchen that had been sprung.  He came in and reset it.  And set two more in different parts of the house.  I was laughing out loud by the time he finished.  What is funny about setting traps?  It isn't the traps.  It's watching a grown man in his underwear try to set the trap, and having it snap on him, and hearing him cuss.  Pretty entertaining stuff from my perch on the couch.

While he was setting them, we watched the mouse run from room to room.  I figured he was hungry and would get trapped pretty dang quick.

Nope.  He ran right by those traps like they weren't even there.  That is when I realized he was different.  Unique.  Weird.  Scary.

I watched him run right out into the living room and look at me.  He just sat there, staring.  I screamed.  Stevie Wonder cussed.  And got up.

I said: "Look, he's sitting right there, and LOOKING AT ME."

Steve said: "Hit him with a damn shoe."

I said: "I have crummy aim.  You do it."

Steve said: "Oh hell, give me a shoe."  (in a disgusted voice)

He grabbed his shoe and I told him to wait, the mouse would come out.  And it did.  Straight out in front of Steve.  He drew back like the best big league pitcher I've ever seen and threw his show at that mouse.  It had to be doing 90 miles an hour when it hit it.

The mouse turned and ran.  Steve looked a few more minutes, chased it out from it's hiding spot in my future laundry room, and got a couple more shots off.  It WAS moving slower though.  And stopping in weird spots, like the middle of the room.  No decent mouse stops in the middle of a room.  It just isn't safe.

Steve finally said he was done, and going back to bed.  The mouse had hidden by that point, and I figured the traps would get him sooner or later.  I was thinking about that other half hamburger from Red Robin I had brought home from lunch, and decided to warm it in the microwave and eat it.

Big mistake.  The lingering aroma of burger not only brought the mouse OUT of hiding, it brought him straight to the couch.  I had my legs wrapped around my head by this point and was hollering at Steve, who refused to get back up at that point.  The mouse stopped at the edge of the couch, and leaned UP on it and looked up at me.  We were both staring at each other bug eyed by then.

I knew I would have to take measures.  SW was useless by this point, and I knew it was up to me.  I braced myself and the race was on.  I chased the mouse from room to room, and got a couple shots at it with SW's tennis shoe (those things weigh about 10 pounds each).  But never could stop it.  At some point in the chase, I decided to get my iPhone and capture the evidence on camera.  This is what I got:
mouse running
mouse still running

mouse running some more
This went on for quite a while.  The reason the photos are blurry is because I was running with him, and kind of jumping up and down at the same time.

I finally cornered lost him, and sat down to catch my breath.  Then I heard a commotion in the kitchen.  And saw the cord swinging that hung down from SW's coffee grinder on the corner cabinet in the kitchen.  I looked around, and spotted him.  He was catching his breath too.

Just in case you doubt me, here's a close up:   
mouse at rest on SW's coffee grinder
I looked at him, he looked at me, and that was when my mother took over in me.  I grabbed a fly flap (you call them fly swatters), and chased him to the edge of the cabinet.  Just as he was about to jump, I finished him off.  Slam dunk.

I think this is the first time a mouse was slain with a fly flap.

Being me, I left the DB for Stevie Wonder.  Who didn't notice it the next morning until I pointed it out.  (Pffttt, some hunter he is...didn't even see what was in front of his nose toes.)

Then I told him it had been all over his coffee grinder.  And turned around and walked off.

I drink tea.

~cath xo
Twitter @jonesbabie

15 comments:

  1. O Cath, this had me in stitches. I had one in my classroom recently. The kids spotted it. It ran behind my desk for cover. I told the kids not to make noise they would scare him, he was only a tiny little thing. No lessons for the next 15 minutes because the mouse kept putting in an appearance. I sent for the principal. He arrived with a hurl (like a hockey stick but with a bigger face) behind his back. I took the kids to the assembly room for a story. 5 minutes later we got the all clear to return. I had to tell the kids 4-5 year olds that the principal had let him out to play in the yard!
    P.S. Try chocolate in your traps, Irish mice love it.

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    1. I laughed when I read your encounter Mary...glad y'all were sensitive to the kids...we've had at least one more DB since that one...I figure sooner or later they gotta run out of kamikaze mice to send. :D

      PS..I love chocolate too much to use it in traps...I would be the one caught in it. :D

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  2. Great story! And a wonderful way to start the week. Thanks. The expression "deadlier than the male" keeps coming to mind.

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    1. Thanks a lot Thom...give us a fly flap and we are dangerous. :D

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  3. EW. Ew. Ew. I do not care for germ carrying rodents!! But congrats on winning the battle - Cath the Rodent Slayer

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    1. Thanks for the new moniker Beckey :D

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  4. Cath, great laugh. I can just visualize the chase. Living in the middle of a 30 acre farm, we experience the litter buggers now and again too. Never killed one with a fly swatter though :-D

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    1. You might want to rethink the uses of a fly flap now. :D

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  5. You are a great storyteller. I enjoyed your detailed accounts. I empathize with you for I have had "mousecapades" too. I wanted to share with you what attracts them and also what they supposedly dislike. Peanut butter, raisins, and of course cheese attracts the mice. They dislike peppermint oil and extract. Also Brillo pads put around pipes or openings where they could get in. They can squeeze their bodies down to the size of a pencil to get in somewhere. They usually travel around base boards because their eye sight is bad. I poured peppermint extract in lids from glass jars I had saved. I put those everywhere I could and it smelled like a peppermint factory in my house. I have been mice free for 6 years now. :-)Thank you for the laughs and sharing your story. Angie Cook

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    1. Glad you liked it Angie...we used peppermint oil at the hospital for strong odors in patient rooms and many nurses used to keep a bottle in their locker for emergency use. :D I'll remember the tip!

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  6. Sorry, but that's a really cute mouse :-)) Of course, any wild creature staggering around or confronting you is a possible indication of illness - even rabies. So I guess it's a good thing that he met his end. Nice job of photographing on the run, BTW!

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    1. Yes I thought he was kind of cute too, but not possibly ending up in bed with me...it was him or me, and this is my house after all... :D That was the first time I ever did any "jump" photography.

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  7. I have had so many confrontations with rodents and different traps I was totally there with you sissy! LOL

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  8. OMG - Could totally picture the entire "event". LOL

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  9. Vix, I thought about you and Dooj when I was living the adventure... :D

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