Wednesday, April 18, 2012

flippin nuts at 5 guys

Wretch and Stevie Wonder
You have to love a man with a sense of humor.  Especially when you've been married to him since the Stone Age and some things just aren't as funny as they were when you were 17.

Last weekend Stevie Wonder, Wretch and I went to Five Guys for lunch.  Steve and I have been dieting since last November and occasionally we indulge in something that has enough calories in it to make an anorexic cringe.

We were drooling by the time we went into Five Guys.  The smell of those burgers and fries was magnetic.  I felt like I was being pulled along by my nose as we went through the door.

We stood in line and placed our order.  I was going to get a table for us, because the place was pretty busy.  I made a general statement about how nice it was outside, and that more people were sitting outside than inside, then looked around and said "I'm going to get a table."  Steve said in a loud voice "I don't want to sit outside!"

I just looked at him like he'd gone insane.  He'd made a radical connection between my two statements, but his hypothesis was wrong.  I glared at him, red-eyed.

does this look like a western theme?
That was when I knew this was a serious meal.  We were cranky.  The smell of the food was too much stimulation for our brains.  We were going to start forking each other soon if we didn't get some food.  Fast.

Wretch and I took our cups to the soda fountain while SW completed our order and paid for it.  Then we sat down and waited.  I was pretty tense by this time.  I looked around and saw SW getting something.  I figured it was ketchup.

It was peanuts.  He sat down and started eating the peanuts.  And flipping the shells in the floor.

Let me give a little background here, or the rest of my tale won't make a damn bit of sense.  There are several restaurants locally that serve peanuts as an appetizer.  When you eat the peanuts, you throw the shells in the floor.  Most of these restaurants have a western or country theme.  You expect to hear the crunch of peanut shells under your feet when you eat there.

I mentioned to Steve as he threw more shells in the floor that Five Guys was not that sort of place.  And this is how the rest of the conversation went:

SW: Sure it is.  There's hulls everywhere.
Me: Show me a single peanut shell.
SW: They are on the floor.
Me: (by now I've scoped the whole place, and no shells anywhere) Nope.  No shells anywhere.  Show me a single shell.  (I knew I had him.  He had no way out.  He had to admit he was WRONG.)
SW: (About this time a young lady walked by with a broom and dustpan and started sweeping up under a table a few rows away.)   See, she's sweeping peanuts up.
Me: Those aren't peanuts, they are french fries that spilled on the floor.
SW: Well, it's job security for her.

About the time he said that, the young lady walked over and said "here let me sweep that up for you".  SW looked at me smugly, as if to say 'see, I told you so'.  After she swept up the small mountain of peanut shells from under SW's feet, she said:

"Let me get you a container to put those shells in."  She walked over to the peanut counter, got another little cardboard container, brought it to the table, and without another word slid it over in front of Steve.

I was good.  I wasn't saying a word.  It was dead silent at the table.  Until Wretch and I made eye contact.

And lost it.  I don't think I have laughed that hard in months.  SW just sat there smiling and not saying a word.  Every time Wretch and I would look at each other, we'd start laughing again.

Life is good.






cath xo
Twitter @jonesbabie

24 comments:

  1. I used to love going to The Ground Round back in the '70s and into the early 80's...sawdust on the floor, peanut shells just tossed for the crunchy sound. Then, some stupid asses said "oh, it looks dirty" and bam...gone. Atmosphere is atmosphere.

    I do like a Five Guys burger. Their fries are addictive, but ooooohhhh...the tummy ache.

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    1. I hear you on that Stuart. We paid for that meal with a load of Pepcid. :D

      And I think there are still lots of places around here that are lost in the 70's and 80's, because we run into peanut shells in them...but Five Guys wasn't one of those spots. :D

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  2. A similar thing happened to me and hubby about a year ago. We went to a steak house and they had peanuts too. Hubby, like SW, was too quick to assume that the shells were meant to be thrown on the floor UNTIL I showed him they had provided containers for the mess. *SIGH* But how come I felt more embarrassed than he was? hmmm......

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    1. I learned a long time ago that laughing can cover a lot of personally embarrassing moments, and how to turn just about anything humiliating into a joke on myself. :D

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  3. Oh, Cath, I have hold my breath up to the moment the girl brought you that cardboard container ... what a story, loved it! Now you know what to get Stevie for his birthday!

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    1. Yes I do Barbara, a big old bag of peanuts, and a container to put the shells in, or my floor will look like that one did!

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  4. I love the relationship you have with SW: married since Stone Age, but able to laugh out loud...But why are you on a diet? Why is everybody on a diet? I certainly am not!

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    1. Mine is more of a lifestyle change than a diet. I have lost about 35 pounds in the past year, so you can't call something that slow a diet. :D SW on the other hand, has lost about 85 pounds now, and is about 18 pounds from his goal...I just try to eat healthy. I want an old age I can live to see and get around independently in. :D

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  5. My husband loves places lie the Texas Roadhouse where he can throw peanut shells with abandon on the floor. I can't bring myself to do it even there.

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    1. I don't mind throwing them, but you won't see me throwing the first shell. I have to have evidence on the floor before I add mine. :D

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  6. LOVE it! Yes, you have to love a guy who can see the humor, even when it's funny because he's wrong. :)

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    1. He had to learn to laugh along a long time ago, or be drowned out in our laughter. Seriously, the thing that attracted me to SW the most was his sense of humor, and 42 years later, it is still going strong! :D

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  7. That's funny and sweet. ;p Thanks for sharing that nice family moment. xox

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  8. Ha. I've been to those places, they're fun. Nice polite approach from the staff! I think I would've laughed too.

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    1. If we'd been at a funeral I still would have laughed...in fact probably louder, considering what he was doing to make me laugh. :D

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  9. Funny. Love the way you can laugh about things SW does without creating a rift. Being married since the Stone Age has its advantages.

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    1. It sure does Pennie, that many years can wear down the hottest of tempers, and make a person much more patient. And still make things funny too. :D

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  10. I went to visit my Grandson in North Ar. and they stopped at a 5guys place and I could smell the burgers out side. I did not go in, however next time i will. they said when they came out they make the best hamburgers. I can never throw the shells on the floor. I would not want some on throwing shells all over mine.

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    1. It's well worth a try Juanita. The burgers are great, but the fries are to die for. My grandkids throw enough stuff on my floors that I can understand what it must be like to sweep up constantly after folks. Thanks for stopping by. :D

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  11. Wow Burger and Fries , I am on a dieet. greetings

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    1. I am too, since last fall, but have to indulge occasionally so I don't feel deprived. I've still managed to lose 35 pounds in the past year, and Stevie Wonder has lost 90. :D

      Hi, and thanks for stopping and commenting.

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  12. I am still laughing!

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    1. So am I. It takes so little to amuse me these days. :D

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