Tuesday, January 8, 2013

the color purple

I couldn't help myself.  It was the color purple drawing me like a magnet.  What happened was as inevitable as breathing.

We were having a run on mice.  Or rather, they were having a run on us.  Stevie Wonder told me last night that there was half a hamburger bun missing from a pack.  In his words:

"It looked like a whole damn family of mice was eating here."

I told him I thought I had heard the patter of little feet the night before, but just decided not to investigate.  We discussed it and decided to set two traps.  The first trap snapped while we were all watching TV.  (The National Championship game between Alabama and Notre Dame, in case you haven't heard about it ad nauseum by now.)

Stevie hollered "I heard it!  We got one!"

You'd think he had just bagged an 8 point buck.  (That is deer in redneckese.)

He investigated, got the body, and I did the clean up.  (We have developed our own CSI routine for dealing with DBs - dead bodies.)  We reset the trap (he reset, I provided the cheese.)

Nothing else.  We all knew that mice are not monogamous.  But no more snaps.

Until Steve had just gotten in bed.  I was washing my face in the bathroom and Wretch was in the other end of the house getting ready for bed.  We both heard it snap.  Wretch found the DB.  I hollered at Steve to go get it out of the house.

He said "I am NOT getting out of bed to get rid of a DB!"

I said...

Oh yes you are.  GET YOUR ASS UP NOW!  I do NOT want a DB laying in my kitchen all night long!

He cussed and groaned but got up.  I followed him to the kitchen to make sure he didn't throw it in the garbage.  He went outside, then came back in and we did our recheese and reset routine.  He bent over to put the trap in the floor.  By my pots and pans.  That was when I saw them.

He had on purple drawers.  His butt looked like a grape, and there it was just stuck up in the air....

Then I did it...the unthinkable.

I goosed him.  He screamed and cussed and his head shot up.

Right into my pots and pans.  He cussed me some more as I melted into a puddle laughing.

Wretch said "what's going on".

I said through my laughing "I goosed your dad and he banged into the pots and pans."  Wretch started laughing as loudly as I did.

Steve stomped off to bed.  His last words were:

"That isn't a damn bit funny."

Oh yes it was, Stevie Wonder.  I'm still laughing about it.

...life is good. ~cath
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