Saturday, October 30, 2010

self

Self worth.  Self esteem.  No matter what term you use to describe it, it is about learning to love your self.  Where do you learn to love your self?  How do you learn to value your self?  Society tells you to be giving, compassionate, kind.  What society doesn't tell you is that those feelings and emotions should first be directed at self, your inner person, that part of you that affects how you interact with the world outside of self. 

If you are lucky, you grow up with loving parents who give you a sense of what's right, and teach you to be a strong person in a tough world.  They give you the tools to cope, and if you have truly insightful parents, they nurture you and teach you to rely on and to value your self.  This is the truth for those of you who are lucky.

What about those of you who weren't as lucky?  Who had a crappy childhood or parents who were dealing with their own demons and wouldn't or couldn't give you what you needed to value your self?  What then?  Do you spend your life railing against what is wrong with you, blaming everything on the belief of your own worthlessness, or on those who made you believe you are worthless?  That is the truth for many of you.  You are the broken spirits among us, who are trapped inside a small box that won't allow you to grow beyond it, to escape.

I have a friend who has overcome tremendous odds.  Who was not valued as a  child or taught the lesson of self worth.  Who spent years trapped inside that box, seeing self as victim.  Angry, with no way out to be found.  Then something wondrous happened.  That person began to question.  Why the trap?  Why not escape that box?  What was the thing preventing escape?  And that person realized.  The only thing preventing escape was....

self...that is right...the most powerful lesson you can learn is simply that the only thing holding you back is self.  Anger and hate breed only more anger and hate.  It limits your self, it prevents you from valuing your uniqueness.  Learning to love self, is not wrong, it isn't bad.  Because to learn to love your self is to learn the most powerful lesson of all...that you are important, that you have value, that you have worth as a person.

There is no way to measure self worth...it is intrinsic...and unique.  You can't measure unique.  We are all unique in our own self-ness.  If you don't believe that, and believe in your self, then you have not learned the lesson, and are still trapped inside that box.

Open that box if you dare, explore your uniqueness.  Learn to love your self.
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