upside down

Life is upside down right now, for the forseeable future. There are a few constants, but many of the things in my life I thought I could count on, have suddenly changed. So I forge ahead, finding my way, day by day.

Day 24 NaBloPoMo prompt is: UPSIDE DOWN. How fitting, and what a perfect description of my life at this moment in time. Life is never static though, and so I take a deep breath, and wait...and wait...for the change to come.



...life is what it is... ~cath
  i am @jonesbabie on twitter

dead man floating

I decided some time ago to add another day of exercise to my two yoga days a week.  The only thing available at the place I take yoga classes was water aerobics.  My friend and I talked ourselves into it, and I started with a burst of confidence that this would be a piece of cake.  After all, if I could survive being twisted like a pretzel in yoga, this had to be easy peasy.

I was wrong.  These classes work me like a bird dog in training.  My legs and arms feel like noodles at the end of an hour.  When I leave the low gravity of the water, my limbs immediately feel like they weigh 40 pounds more.  I have drawn a little illustration (in layman's terms for you non-water-exercising people out there) to demonstrate what I go through.  I left off the tortured look on my face, in case you might consider trying water aerobics.

I don't want to throw cold water on your plans, after all.

Yes, that was a pun.  A bad one, but the best I can do at this ungodly hour of the morning.


Lessons I have learned in water aerobics:
1. No matter how tight you pull the belt on the flotation device, it still ends up under your armpits.
2. Flotation devices make excellent cleavage enhancers.  Better than a Victoria's Secret push up bra.
3. When you leave the pool, gravity reminds you that your cleavage isn't as awesome as you thought it was. The lap swimmer you thought was gawking at your cleavage in the lane next to you is now laughing at you.
4. If you crane your neck, you can keep your hair dry, makeup intact, and bling shining in your ears.  Until that damn flotation device rolls you over on your face.
5. Never wear washable mascara to water aerobics.  Unless you enjoy the raccoon effect.
6. Wear something really loose to change into after class, like a moo moo.  If you don't, it will take you an hour to get dressed, because your arms and legs are noodles.  If you don't believe me, try putting skin tight jeans on a cooked noodle sometime.  Can't be done.
7. The dead man's float is the best move in the world when you wear out.  The flotation device will assist you into this position.
8. By the time you assume the dead man floating position, you won't care where your cleavage is or what it is doing.  Or if that swimmer in the next lane is looking.

Tonight is yoga.  I am asking for extra abs so I can match them to my aching arms and legs.

Holy s#*t I am gonna die.

Namaste.
...life is good. ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

unloading

When you have a load on your mind, and your body isn't cooperating, wine is the great equalizer in life...

TGIF!

...life is good. ~cath
find me @jonesbabie on Twitter

ch[ai]ming in

Before Christmas I made a commitment to have better health. Diet, exercise, and whatever it took to get me to my goal. My goal was not to wear a size 2. The goal was to feel better, be healthier, and have more energy.

But I was lying like a rug. I was seduced by the very foods that put me into slug mode, and I kept backsliding into the abyss I was trying to haul myself out of.

Then ten weeks ago Stevie Wonder started dieting. I was so happy he was concerned about his health and ready to commit to a lifestyle change. I knew all the principles of dieting, so I joined him as his diet buddy.

(Even though I had already failed my sister-in-law as her diet buddy, as well as numerous friends and other family members over the past several years.)

Stevie Wonder is 50 pounds lighter and 2 sizes smaller as of this writing. And somehow I've lost 15 pounds and a size along the way, even though I have not been as stringent and dedicated as SW has.

But I've had some successes along the way.

This is the first holiday season in my life that I have lost weight and not added more on.

I noticed I don't have the joint aches and pains I was having. And I have more energy.

I can think clearly and with better purpose. My brain no longer lives in a carbohydrate induced coma.

But I miss my Starbucks chai. Like the phantom pain from an amputated limb, I can feel it, as if I had a steaming cup sitting solidly in my hand. Until today, I had not had any for two long months. No chai.

Then Stevie Wonder did the unthinkable today and bought me one. I got to the truck with it, and just held it in my hands for a bit, savoring the smell, feeling the heat from the hot liquid seep into the muscles of my fingers and hands, making my hands almost glow with the warmth.

Then finally, that first sip. Oh my, it hit my tongue and my taste buds exploded with remembered ecstasy. It was even better than I remembered. Like a wine connoisseur I could pick out the nuance of each spice, from the peppery start to the cardamom and vanilla-honey finish.

Ahhh. Too soon, it was gone. Drained, the cup sat there staring at me forlornly as though saying "what now"? And I had no answer. It will be many weeks before I indulge again. The memory of that perfect cup of tea will be all I have to cling to, until the day comes when I can indulge once more. Someday.

I'm keeping that cup so I can sniff it like a junkie and dream my Starbucks dreams.

treading lightly

Today I began my trek toward better health in earnest. I have a finite number of years left on this earth, and I really don't want to spend them as an invalid.

This is not just a New Year's resolution, or goal. My aim is to change habits. Habits that have not become so damaging to my health that changing them will have no effect on me.

Every year I have made the same old resolution to lose weight and exercise. And never stuck to it. Because I never made it a habit, just paid lip service.

Today is a new beginning. I started the change in eating habits weeks ago (yes, that's right, and except for a short detour during the holiday, I did pretty darn good).

This morning, after a couple of false starts and some vicious shin splints, I climbed on Tessie the Treadmill. My legs are kind of bitchy about it tonight, but I survived Tessie.

Tomorrow Tessie and I go for round two. I'll let you know who wins.

~cath xo
Twitter me @jonesbabie

the egg and i

The egg is my friend.  It is a small oval mouthful of nourishment and only costs me 2 points per egg.

What are points?  Why that is the balance of food in numerical equivalent I am allowed to ingest every day.  Twenty nine points total.  To stay alive.

And healthy.

In simpler terms, I became a Weight Watcher a week ago.  And that was also 2.8 pounds ago.  I am told by experts in success that the best way to succeed with a plan is to announce it.  Make it public.  The more people you tell the better your chance of success.

So I am announcing it: By the end of this year I will be a healthier person.


I guess this means if I don't succeed, I will be eating a lot of crow.

But I really prefer eggs to crow.  So I will continue to murder eggs and masticate their small oval bodies.

I will become known as the serial eggster.

Beware eggs.  I am coming to get you.  And boil you.  And peel you.

*Side note here:  I got a great tip from the leader at the Weight Watchers meeting last week.  "Boil your eggs, leave just a tiny bit of cold water in the pot after you cook them.  Then put a lid on the pot and shake the dickens out of them.  (Yes, she really said dickens.)  When you open the pot, voila, the eggs are peeled."

Sounds too good to be true, eh?

IT WAS.  When I opened up my little dickens shaken pot, I looked inside with excited anticipation.

And saw what looked like puked-up eggs in a pot.

I wretched.  Then threw them away.  Boiled some more eggs.

PEELED said eggs.  And ate them.  Two points each.  Four points total.  Breakfast.  For someone who never eats breakfast, it was a rough start...

But 2.8 pounds later those eggs are paying off.

So beware eggs...you can run, but you can't hide.



















~cath xo
Twitter @jonesbabie