Friday, July 1, 2011

plane karma

7/1/2011: This was one of many emails I sent to family and friends over the years of my "travails and adventures".  I was blogging before I knew there was a word for it.  So I guess you could say I have been blogging for the past 16 years.  And it's been a lot of fun to share my thoughts with family and friends.  This was a post about my plane karma (it is legend in my family) and was first reposted (from an email in 2008) on August 24, 2010.  





My plane karma is still bad.....

The day started off great...packed for my trip home and had the tickets printed the day before...Southwest Airlines flight through St. Louis to Birmingham.  We got to the airport early (yes mom we actually got there way ahead of time...) but I made the mistake of telling Vix my ticket had my name spelled wrong just as she pulled up to kick me to the curb...her eyes got like saucers and she said "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO" and I said "GET ON THE PLANE WITH A MISSPELLED NAME".  She is telling me to go straight in to the counter and get the mistake straightened out and yada yada yada....while I calmly get my bag and get in line to check in outside.  She noticed I was in line outside as she drove off so down goes the window and as she drove away I could hear her faintly saying "WHY ARE YOU IN LINE THERE YOU NEED TO GO INTO THE BUILDING TO THE COUNTERRRrrrrrrr..........."  I got a very nice skycap who earned a nice little tip when he lied and told me how young my photo ID looked...and then there was the security guy (who, yes Vix, looked like Keifer Sutherland) told me I looked good as a blonde or a brunette (my ID had the blonde version)....so by the time I made it on the plane my head was well inflated.

I lucked up and got a good seat, settled back, read a little, listened to a little IPOD, then settled down for a good nap...the steward was talking but I had heard all the seatbelt, oxygen mask info many times before.  I drifted off into a nice relaxing little nap and woke up just as they were announcing our arrival in Phoenix...I looked at my watch and thought wow that was a fast trip, but I also figured I was in a different time zone and that always throws me off a little, watch settings you know....

So we make a smooth landing, and I jump up and grab my carry on and charge off the plane with the rest of the herd, waving to the steward and stewardess and telling them bye, thanks, etc.  I walk through the terminal and the main thing on my mind at this point is the 3 cups of tea and half gallon of water I had before the flight that morning.  I spy the local Starbucks and am scoping out a place to get something to eat while waiting the hour or so for my connecting flight to Birmingham....I get finished in the ladies room, and as I head to the Starbucks I had spotted I decide to check and see what gate my next flight leaves from.  I head over to the departures screen and look for Birmingham and find it, then check the flight number, because I am such a thoroughly organized person, and always check those things.  I drag my ticket out and look at it and...........the numbers don't match.....so I stand there and look for any other Birmingham flights and there are none.....so I am standing there pondering this and then I look at my ticket....yes it says St. Louis to Birmingham...then I look at the board...no the flight numbers still don't match....something isn't quite right and I look slowly around the airport....and then realize.......

HOLY $*&!$%* S*%T!!!!!!  I am in the wrong airport!!!!!  Panic set in as I raced to the nearest counter and told the person there I had gotten off the airplane in the wrong airport...I tried to cover my stupidity by telling her I ALWAYS connected in Phoenix (I had never connected in Phoenix before) and that I just got off without looking at my ticket (I had looked at that ticket so many times the ink had faded from my eyes burning holes in it).  She smiled at me and said no problem I could just go back to the gate and get the person at the gate to put me back on the plane (she made it sound like putting an egg back in a carton).  THEN I had to tell her....... "I can't remember what gate I got off at" and I had no ticket because they took it from me when I got on the flight...she smiled again and asked where I was coming from and I told her (thank goodness I knew that much)...she found the gate and sent me on my way...

I raced to the gate and explained the whole story again to the ticket agent (I hated to have to repeat my stupidity again but ANYTHING TO GET BACK ON THAT PLANE) and he printed out a piece of paper that said basically "please let this idiot back on the plane" and told me to go to the gate and the agent there would let me back on the plane....well I did that...he told me go on down, so I went to the back of the line figuring he meant to get in line (that was easy to misunderstand after all, he was using his head to point with because he was scanning tickets after all)...and I am standing there thinking ok it is all going to be ok....when suddenly someone behind me says "wouldn't he let you on the plane" and I look around and there is the ticket agent, and I say "well he said go on down, so I figured he meant to the back of the line" and he laughed and said "no he meant to go on through", so I skulk back to the front of the line and jump line and get to the plane....the steward sees me and smiles and I said "I got off at the wrong stop" and I hear the sound of his laughter as I go down the aisle desperately looking for a seat....I see one and throw myself into it and look at the person next to me and realize....

it was the same seat I had gotten out of thirty minutes ago...and the same person sitting next to me...by this time I don't care and I tell her what I did...then save it by saying well at least I made it to the restroom and she said be glad the one on the airplane was microscopic....

The rest of the flight was great and as I got off in St. Louis...and yes I made sure I was in the right place (I had my ticket glued to my forehead)...I told the steward bye again and said you WON'T see me again'  and as I got off I heard him laughing and saying "sure.... we heard THAT before....."
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