Thursday, October 13, 2011

hope warrior

I wrote this post on January 9, 2011.  It has a very special meaning to me, and because this is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I think we should be more aware of the fight to cure ALL cancer. It took my father from me 11 years ago, and I still miss him every day.  I would appreciate it if you would please read this and share. ~cath xo   

It's been one of those weeks.  The kind that make me feel like everything I touch is going to dung.  And that is putting it nicely.  Work has been tough.  People seem to be touchy and weirdly out of sorts after the holidays, and tempers are short.  Reports of acts of violence abound in the news, and it just accumulates on my shoulders, weighing me down.

This has all lead to a general sadness and irritability of my own because I have had to deal with so much STUFF this week.  When I am in this kind of mood I usually don't sleep well, and sure enough I was awake all night last night, and tired today when I had things I had to get done before *gasp* snow hits Alabama tomorrow night. 

And here I was again tonight, white-eyed.  Feeling pretty heavy in the spirit.  I decided to come in and work on my website and revamp it.  I sat down at the computer to start, and looked to the side where Steve laid the mail he picked up today. 

And I saw it.  And suddenly my spirit started to lift.  I was amazed.  This is why:

A few months ago by a strange twist of fate I made a new friend on Facebook.  We kind of got slung together in an odd way, but struck up a friendship pretty fast.  She is a great person, and we have a lot in common, including our name, and some differences that make our friendship interesting. 

She told me about a friend of hers battling cancer, and said that on days the friend had chemo, there was a group of people supporting her with positive thoughts and everyone was thinking "shrink, erase, eradicate" during her treatment.  Sending positive thoughts to her.  So I added Jackie to my running chat with the almighty and began to think "SEE" on the Wednesdays she had treatment.  Even though I don't personally know Jackie, I do believe that positive thoughts can effect outcomes.  My friend Kathy said that Jackie's supporters are called the Hope Warriors, and asked me if I would like a bracelet to wear to remind me (not that I needed reminding but I liked the idea of a visible link to something that is spiritual) so I said YES!  Kathy took my address and passed it on to Jackie's husband, and told me they had dropped it in the mail.  This happened at the end of September.

It never came.  And the strange thing was, it was the last one they had.  At first I was disappointed but I told Kathy it probably got lost in the mail, and I still felt just as connected to the rest of the group SEEing on those chemo Wednesdays.  I thought about it from time to time, but really didn't have any hope that it would arrive.  Too much time had gone by.

WRONG!!!  I was sifting through that pile of mail tonight, when I saw a small brown manila envelope with my name on it.  It was dated September 30 on the postage.  I wondered what it was, and noticed it was pretty dog earred looking, then I saw the return address on it, and ripped it open in excitement! 

And as I looked at that small white bracelet, I felt my spirit turn, my mood lift, and hope reignite inside me.  That was when I realized how lucky I am.  Whenever I start to feel that life is negative energy, and sadness starts to fill me up inside, something happens, and my karma turns.  I am a hope warrior, and always have been.  Being human, I slip, and slide downward at times to low points, but something always happens to remind me there is always hope, and negativity is self fulfilling if you let it grab your spirit.

I will cherish this small reminder of hope on my wrist, and think of Jackie as she continues her fight against cancer.  And I will always be reminded of the hope I felt when I received this gift. 

I follow her husband's blog, Adventures of the Hope Warriors, and hope you will all visit this blog too and see what positive, uplifting reading it is.  And join us as we SEE! for Jackie (Shrink, Erase, Eradicate!). 
HOPE.  Invisible but powerful, and always there. 
                                       I am a hope warrior.
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