Tuesday, May 31, 2011

hot tub heaven

The hot tub is the place we throw the grandkids (5 year old twins and a 6 year old) when we want to know where they are and give them something to do that will keep them busy.  Kids love water.  Absolutely.  And it makes sense.  We all start out in a water-filled environment before birth, so getting into a hot tub is kind of like going back to the womb, right?

Wrong.  Because this weekend Gramps gave them cantaloupe at the table for a snack while they were out on the deck and in the hot tub.  The cantaloupe was a good snack, except for one thing.

It ended up in the hot tub. In tiny pieces.  And so did one of the small plastic cups, which ended up in the drain.  Like a plug.

So the weekend ends, and I really don't want to go anywhere on Memorial Day.  That was going to be my recovery day.  From the kids.  Who suck all the energy out of me.

The main problem is that the hot tub figured pretty importantly in those recovery plans.  Along with a glass of wine and a certain man in my life.

And the problem there was the minuscule chewed up pieces of cantaloupe that were by that time fermenting in the hot tub.  To empty the hot tub, clean it out, and fill it back up would be ok, except the water takes a couple days to heat up to the point that you don't scream in shuddering cold agony when you climb in.

Steve and I discussed it.  Then he lifted the cover on the hot tub, took a look in and came to report its condition to me.  I was working in my art journal at the time. 

Him: well it doesn't look too bad, the pH is good and it is pretty clear.
Me: where is the cantaloupe?
Him: it all got sucked over to the filter cap. It's stuck there.
Me: let me go look.

So I walked out and looked down in the hot tub.  I saw a few tiny rocks in one of the seats, and orange looking flotsam stuck to the intake on the filter. 

Me: how you gonna get that cantaloupe out?
Him: I gotta climb in to clean it off
Me: hmmm...ok I think it's ok to get in.

So we got into a fairly cool hot tub (the kids like to push buttons and had lowered the temperature by ten degrees).  Steve ramped up the temp, scraped the cantaloupe off the filter, and we settled in to relax.  I had a nice red wine blend to drink, and he had a Bud Light.

We sat there for a while, just talking about nothing in particular, and I was telling him what a good investment we had made in the hot tub.  It did double duty, as a corral for the kids, and a romantic tryst for us.

He was saying uh huh, then he noticed one of the dogs had been left out of the fence when he put them up for the night.  The 17 year old springer was pacing, wanting in.

Him: oh no somehow I left Biscuit out when I put the other dogs up.  Let me go put the old girl up.
Me: ok, just don't get the carpet wet in the house when you go get your flip flops.

Which is exactly what he did.  I watched him shake off water like a dog, then go inside and come back out in his flip flops.  (Did he really think that would work?  No, but he thought I would buy it.)  At that point I was half a glass into my wine and didn't feel like using the energy to bother saying anything.

He put the dog in the back yard, then got back in the hot tub.  He stopped directly in front of me.

I looked up at him slowly.  The look on his face was intense.  He was staring at me intently.  And I know what that look means. 

I looked into his eyes, and he stared back at me.

I waited for him to say something raunchy.  Or romantic.  It could go either way with him.

Then he slapped my face.

HE SLAPPED ME.  HARD.  Hard enough my ear was ringing.


He held his hand up and I saw it.

A huge blood sucking mosquito.

Him: aww honey I just saw that skeeter on your face and wanted to kill it before it bit you.

So he says.  I saw the gleam in his eye after he did it.


  1. Oooh I always wanted a hot tub. I wanted to see the look on my neighbours faces when I would run out to it in the middle of the winter, wearing a swimsuit and a woolly hat, as they drive by on their tractors. After your story, I think I'll have to think it out again!

  2. @hocam: We are lucky, we can run naked to the hot tub and the neighbors can't see through the trees, Mary. We think. :D

    Actually at my age I don't care :D
    ~cath xo

  3. So I guess you left the part out about how your held your husband's head under the water, just for a bit... Ahh, children are a blessing, but there's always the aftermath, even when they grow up! ;p

  4. @sweepyjean: Now you know how I think... but I rather thought I would just put some of the worst stinking perfume I have that he hates on the intake of his CPap while he is sleeping. :D Thanks for the comments, and I am living the aftermath of kids all over again, but having more fun this time!
    ~cath xo
    @jonesbabie on Twitter

  5. Now that the children are grown, I would swap our pool for a hot tub in a heartbeat. Oh, well. And now that someone built near us, there is no more skinny dipping anyway. Darn!

    Oh, don't forget that Google Earth camera zooms in pretty close.

  6. @Thom: I am laughing my head off at your comments. The hot tub has been such a success for us, that my sister in law is thinking of getting one for their grandbaby. And I will be sure to look up and smile at the Google Earth camera when I am streaking to the hot tub next time! :D
    ~cath xo

  7. @cath

    Haa! I like yours much better!! :p