Monday, May 16, 2011

monday maybe...not

Well here I am.  Another prompt blown to dust this month.  I could say another failure, but in the scheme of my life, it really isn't so. 

I started new job responsibilities at work about two weeks ago.  I was keeping up the daily blog posts at that time, but quickly felt overwhelmed.  How many times in your life have you felt the heavy pressure of too much "stuff" on your shoulders?  That was what I was feeling.  Weight.  On my shoulders.  They were literally tightening up on me. 

Soon, my shoulders were feeling almost bruised from the stress.  Then sleep stopped, and my thoughts began to race.

This is a chronic workaholic pattern for me.  I know when this happens that I am internalizing too much.  The difference between this time and others is that now I have INSIGHT.  I know me better.  Over the years and path my life has taken, each moment has been a learning time for me.  Successes, failures, I see them all the same way. 

Lessons.  Years ago, in the midst of a particularly low point in my life, I ran across a book.  The title caught my name, so I bought the book and brought it home.  I started reading it.  Usually a fast reader, I found myself reading, going back a few pages and reading again, and thinking about what I was reading.

The name of the book was "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" by Eckhart Tolle.  It was like I had entered another dimension.  I began to realize things about myself.  And it changed the way I looked at life.  At how I saw myself.  How I saw others.

It took me seven months to read that book.  Yes, you read that right.  Seven months.

But I have new eyes into my own soul now.  I see what the importance of experiencing the now moments really means.  To be totally here, while I write this.  While I drink my tea.  While I listen to the hum of the clothes dryer.  I have awakened.

So when I felt my shoulders tighten, I knew I had been seduced into old patterns.  And I rejected them.  And recentered my thoughts to the now.  And my shoulders said thank you as they relaxed.

And I slept.  Deeply.  Felt rested when I awakened.  And the job became the job instead of becoming my life.

Now I see I have missed many days posting.  And I am ok with that.  Because I post when the mood moves me, or I want to share my thoughts.  That is what this blog is about.  Not keeping up.  Not gaining anything more than the pleasure of sharing a few simple thoughts.

This weekend I had work to do on my second job.  The job I love.  That gives me pleasure.  I painted, updated our website, and painted some things just for me.  Painting is where I go to refresh my energy.

Where do you go to refresh yourself?  What do you do to bring back energy when it is sucked away by negativity and stress?  I challenge each of you to think about how you keep your spirits and energy alive.  Think about how some things might be or should be different.  Think about what works and how to multiply it.

As for me.....I will paint.
~cath xo 


  1. Even the quality of news in news papers suffered just because it wanted to keep pace with the daily schedule of the printing press. That is the main reason why we are forced to read what even the ROYALTY pooped to begin their day with in newspapers. So bloggers should not fall prey to any regime as well. And personally speaking beautiful thoughts do not follow any schedule so we should not be presses into that extra burden too!

    Nice encouraging read. Will save a lot of bloggers from being guilty conscious, I am sure !!


  2. I will have to get the Eckhart Tolle book, but reading Neale Donald Walsch's "Conversations with God" books have done the same thing for me. I read and re-read them to keep the messages in my head!

  3. Hi Cath, I have missed your posts. When you post you have something to say rather than saying something. This is more valuable in my opinion and makes waiting for your posts worthwhile.
    Self knowledge is a very useful tool. I did a social, personal and health education course a number of years ago and we were challenged every week to know and understand ourselves. I seek time alone, music and a good book to de-stress. The other option is to be creative, to cook or to take photographs. I never lived to work but work to live. However, I'm married to a workaholic.

  4. @Vikkp
    Thanks for the encouragement Vikash, and I agree with you. Quantity is not better than quality. As an artist and now as a blogger I have dry spells. It is also hard to be creative when I am being organized and thinking concretely. I appreciate your comments.

  5. @Angel Heart: Tolle does not embrace one religion, but speaks about spirituality and the common thread that runs through all religions. I found him long before Oprah did, but was not surprised when she discovered him and shared his message. I bought my sisters a copy of the book because it means so much to me... you will gain much from it I believe.
    xo love ya gf...

  6. @hocam: Thanks Mary, I try not to be boring. I also realize that what is funny or seems witty to me might seem like boring drivel to others, but that is the choice we all have, to read or not to read. I appreciate it when anyone stops by to read something I post. I appreciate even more the effort it takes to comment. Thank you so much for yours, and for the encouragement. :D

  7. I loved this post! It is a wonderful thing to find a book that speaks to your personally, that helps open up new ways of thinking. I'm going to have to give that book a read. I have found the concept of mindfulness, being in the present moment, gloriously transforming-drawing me into the center of reality and drawing out of what used to be a muddled blur, the infinite details of the blessings and beauty that surround us.

    A great post. I enjoyed reading it...I love others that have found the power and peace of the present moment :)

  8. @Jessica M
    Thank you for such a thoughtful comment Jessica. If you read A New Earth and it resonates with you, then I also suggest another book by Ekhart Tolle: The Power of Now. Also an excellent read. :D

  9. I would rather read a great post month then 12 bad ones. Write when your moved we will still be here lol. I just started following you.

    I am lucky when I need to escape I just do what I always do grab my camera and go out and photograph something lol

  10. Thanks Jim...I also use my camera for instant wind down...many times I am using my iPhone Hipstamatic app as soon as I get out of the car to snap a sunset...or running in the house and grabbing my camera to go walk in the yard a bit and take husband is used to seeing me pop in, throw down my work bag and pop back out for a while, camera in hand...he knows I need some time to myself...

    Photography and painting are great therapy. :D
    Thanks for following...I've been following you for a bit..came in about the time you posted those first photos of the baby egrets...wonderful post :D

  11. As always I love your posts and look forward to them, but I can be patient....

  12. Work is using up most of my brain right now :D