Monday, January 10, 2011

brain freeze


yes, those are Halloween pumpkins :D
We had a snowstorm last night.  The weatherman (who is a VIP here in the south, anyone working as a "meteorologist" carries a lot of weight) told us that we would have it, and he was right, ice, then snow, then more ice hit and basically paralyzed the south.

The south doesn't have much snow, not here in Alabama, so when it is coming, we rush out to buy all the bread, milk and batteries we can find, wiping out supplies of said items statewide in just a matter of a couple hours.  And we do this because:
A~ We all know that all it takes is one flake to shut down the entire road system in the state.
B~ People don't know how to drive on snow and ice here, so you take your life in your hands if you try.
C~ Snow days are built into the school system schedules, even though it only snows about once every 20 years.  And we hate for our kids not to be able to experience their snow holidays.
D~ If said kids are home, you have to feed them.
E~ Deep inside every southerner lives an intense fear that the weatherman may be wrong, and we might actually be stuck at home for more than the day or two snow usually lasts.  And you would starve without bread or milk for more than two days.

Every southerner also knows the magic of snow, how to enjoy it to the max, and we also know the most important thing of all.  The first thing I was taught when I moved here 40 years ago.  The most important snow skill you should possess.

How to make snow ice cream.


Yes, I live in Alabama and I am the keeper of the snow ice cream recipe in our family.  The first step in making this confection from above is:

Only collect clean snow. 

Now some people are very fastidious, and put out bowls and cookie sheets to collect snow on, so that it doesn't have any contaminants in it.  But I learned years ago that in order to collect enough snow, I had to have a much larger surface.  So I quickly adapted.  I use the hood of my car.  And a clean spatula.

This morning while I was getting ready to make the snow cream (we take the ice out of the words), I was perusing the hood of the car.  Actually we have 4 vehicles in the yard, and all had at least three inches of snow on them, so I knew I was good to go.

We use sugar, eggs, and PET milk (our word for evaporated milk, just like all sodas are called Coke here in the South).  I had plenty of all of those items.  So I separated three eggs, beat the whites to a fluffy foam, added sugar, beat some more, added the yolks, more sugar, beat some more, and then added milk and vanilla, more sugar, and beat some more.  About that time Steve arrived inside with a small washtub sized pot full of snow, and I started whisking the snow in.  Got it all whisked in, we both grabbed a bowl and put the rest in the freezer for later, and headed to sit down to eat it. 

(Before I go any farther, for those of you saying I shouldn't use raw eggs in this delicious delight, I must insert here that no one has ever died from snow ice cream poisoning in the south.  So put your worries to rest about that.)



Now Steve and I were sitting, and I knew what was going to happen.  It happens every time.  Because Steve is a speed eater.  So I took my first bite, and heard it.  The scream.  The brain freeze scream of agony.  I looked over at Steve and he had his eyes closed.  We had a little discussion then (I knew telling him beforehand would not prevent what had just happened, so I waited until it did, for my words to have maximum effectiveness):

Me: brain freeze?
Steve: YES *#($&#(@ (expletives deleted for the delicate natured among you)
Me: you can't eat it fast you know.
Steve: YES (still expleting) but it tasted so good I couldn't help myself!
Me: uh huh, better to take a bite, let your head warm back up then take another bite.
Steve: I know I know...

We ate on.  I took my time, and Steve went through 3 more brain freezes, cursing and grabbing his head and at one point his chest.  I could see he wasn't listening to me.  I said nothing.  (I was laughing quietly to myself by now.) 

Finally he said "I'm going to make some hot chocolate to keep that stuff from killing me" and he made a cup of hot chocolate, and after every bite, he'd wash it down with hot chocolate and sigh loudly in bliss.

So today I learned two things:
1. To cure brain freeze, all you need is hot chocolate.
2. To prevent brain freeze, all you need is your iPhone in your hand to slow you down between bites.

Thank you iPhone.
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