Wednesday, January 26, 2011

in memory

My oldest grandson Jack lost his grandmother two days ago.  I am sorry for the family's loss. Carol had cancer, and suffered a lot with it, and I know she is in a better place.  I know the whole family is hurting from the loss right now.

I am sorry that Carol won't be here to see Jack grow up.  Carol was a good woman, and a loving grandmother.  Jack is only 6 years old, so she will miss a lot of time with him.  She will miss the funny things he says and does right now.  And the years to come, all the holidays and special times, as he grows from a child to a man. 

Most of all I feel sorry for Jack.  I was lucky enough to have both my grandmothers until I was an adult.  Jack will miss that time with Carol.  He spends a lot of time going back and forth between his mom's house and his dad's (my son).  Sometimes I feel as though he lives the life of a little nomad, traveling, traveling with no permanence in his life.

Grandparents help with that.  They provide sameness, and predictability, something children need in an ever changing world.

And now Jack has one less person to depend on.  And I hurt for him.  Someday I am sure he will want to know more about Carol, things he doesn't remember.  And I hope his mom will take the time to share the stories of Carol with him.  To tell him what a wonderful grandmother she was, and how much she loved him.  He needs to hear that.  That is what keeps the ones we lose alive.  The memories we share. 

Jack will need that.  So he can carry Carol with him, in his heart and mind, and someday tell stories of Carol to his children, and his children's children.

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