Saturday, January 22, 2011

meatloaf, religion, and politics


That is my meatloaf sitting there, waiting to go in the oven.  I gave birth to it with my own hands today.  And while I was creating my meatloaf baby, Steve was worrying the crap out of me.

He thinks meatloaf should have all this STUFF in it.  And he was telling me so while I was mixing it up.  He came this close to getting a piece of raw baby meatloaf stuffed up his nose.

I am a purist.  I like meat, egg, salt, pepper, a little garlic mix I like, onions, and bell peppers in it.  Then I add a few crushed crackers, and some water and ketchup to mix it all together.  I always add warm water, because then my hands don't freeze.  Yes, I mix mine with my hands, but I wash them beforehand like a surgeon on his way to a heart transplant.  Remember, I'm a nurse.  And the first thing they taught us in nursing school was how to wash our hands. 

So I am mixing my baby up.  And kind of enjoying it, the feel of the mix is kind of squooshy and a little bit weird.  Then Steve shows up at my elbow.

Steve: what are you putting in it?  (I tell him.  He makes a hmphing sound...hard to replicate in text but I know what it means...it's a condescending sound.)
Me: ok so what don't you like?
Steve: you didn't put meatloaf mix in it.  I like the taste of meatloaf mix.
Me: I never use meatloaf mix.  I like it like this.
Steve: I think it tastes better with meatloaf mix.
Me: forget it, I'm not adding that crap.
Steve: ok, but it would taste better.  I don't put salt or pepper in mine either. 

I mention that some of the hamburger fat has stuck to my fingers, and I turn to the sink to wash them before I put the meatloaf in the baking dish.  He turns and starts to walk away and I hear him say "you wouldn't have that on your hands if you used deer meat, and it would taste better with deer meat too."  That was when he nearly got to wear a meatloaf booger.

I turned around fast as a flash, and blurted out: "you make yours the way you want to, and leave me alone!  I like to make mine like this, AND use a casserole to put it in.  YOURS always looks like a turd in a pan!"  (He uses a loaf pan.)

Then I look at his face (I had been looking at my meatloaf protectively this whole time) and I saw it.

He had a shit eating grin on his face...that is crude, but the only way I can describe it.

I learned something today.  Steve and I can't talk politics or religion because we are polar opposites in most of our beliefs.

I've added meatloaf to the "DO NOT DISCUSS" list.
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