...Wait just a dang second. If you think that is how my New Year's Eve went, then you're delusional. It would have been lovely, and actually we did plan to split a bottle of wine. But nothing in my life ever goes as planned, and last night was a prime example...
This year is the year of the dragon, and I was born in the year of the dragon. Mum told me it would be a lucky year for me. And she is right. Depending how you look at things. My luck so far:
- I inherited some waterfront property yesterday. But it's going to be hard to get a tan, unless I crawl under the house. That's right, last night the hot water heater blew a pipe and we became the proud owners of a private lake under our home. We could stock it and fish in it, if we were elves. (The crawl space is belly-only crawling.)
- Wretch and I baked some cookies and snarfed them down while Steve was hunting Bambi. I knew I was a dragon at that point, because I had the fire in my stomach to prove it. After sucking down a boatload of Tums, I was still burning.
- Steve cooked the fish I had promised to eat and put about 2 pounds of pepper on it. Notched the burn up a bit higher. The glass of wine I had after that finished me off. I was toasted before the bottom of the first glass. (Try pouring wine in an open wound sometime and you will get an idea about how my upper digestive system felt at that point.) I finally went to bed about 10PM to wallow in misery.
- Steve woke me up at 11PM to tell me Happy New Year. I said something obscenely rude at that point, and he snickered. I woke him up at 2AM in retaliation to wish him a Happy New Year, but he swears he didn't remember it.
I think he lied. And I got payback watching Steve and our son Jim spend most of this morning crawling and wallowing, fixing the leak that will dry up our new lake.
Steve isn't sure the hot water heater will work now though. He told me he turned on the hot tub so we could bathe in it tonight if there is no hot water. If you see bubbles floating in the air above our house, you'll know where we are.
Isn't that romantic? Yeah, I'm gagging over that line too.
Happy New Year y'all! It begins with a bang.